Monday, October 29, 2012

No buts...


The other day I was thinking about one of my friends.  She's a great friend.  I've known her forever.  She's family to me & she would do anything for me or my family.  She is generous, kind, smart, loving, funny - the list goes on.

We've had alot of ups & downs, but we've always been there for each other.

As I was thinking about her, I suddenly realized that my good thoughts about her end with "but".  For example..."she's generous, but she's so opinionated".

For every good thought I had about her, I realized, I had another, not-so-good thought.  Some characteristic about her that I thought could use some improvement.

And it struck me, quite suddenly, that by ending my good thoughts with these not-so-good thoughts, that's what I was really focusing my energy on, and attracting to me. And in the meantime, I was making myself feel not-so-good too.

I realized all I need to focus on & think about are her good buts.

Her generosity, her kindness, her compassion, her buts.

If there are things about her that I think aren't perfect, well, that's my deal, not hers.  We are all works in progress.  But we are all also just right where we are, if we choose to accept that.

And here's the thing...the moment I realized that it shouldn't be about the "but", I felt better & lighter.  I no longer felt icky for thinking not-so-great things her.  I could just accept her where she was - and focus on all the good that she is.  And we both benefit.

It doesn't matter who it is...your friend, your boss, your parent, your sibling.  Forget the buts.  What do you love & respect about her?  What do you appreciate about him?  Find some quality that you can relate to & focus on that. Seek that out, especially in the person you find most challenging.  Attract that quality to you.

No buts...

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